True TV Confessions

We recently downgraded our Dish Network subscription in order to minimize our 'junk' TV watching and to counteract significant backlash from our kids, we signed up for Netflix. The kids have been mostly happy and accepting of the change and I think they spend less time watching TV and make better choices when they do watch. I, on the other hand, no longer have access to HGTV (Home and Garden TV) and have replaced it with the following absolutely terrible TV choices.

Ally McBeal is a comedy-drama series that tracks an eccentric, single, lawyer who works in a law firm with other crazy people including her ex-boyfriend and his wife. I watched this show a few times when it was on the air and remembered it as odd but funny so I thought it might be fun to try out. WRONG. How on earth do they try to sell the female lead as someone bright enough to graduate from Harvard Law School but dumb enough to believe in unicorns and soul mates? Ally and her equally successful but more trampy roommate frequently boo-hoo about their vain attempts to find Mr. Right. Another giant turn off is how many times the show creators can recycle and revamp the same unbelievable and almost always sex-related lawsuits the cast of lawyers get mixed up in. Yes, it's a lame show but somehow I find myself on episode 19 of season 2. In fact, if I finish this post in time, I'll probably partake in the next installment.

The Glades is a crime drama about a bad boy detective that seems to be able to solve every gruesome murder in Florida. He and his best buddy, the rule-abiding but reluctantly compromising forensic pathologist, cut open alligators, take advantage of the nerdy intern, and drive the police chief nuts week after week with a re-hashed version of the last mystery they miraculously solved. The beginning of each episode features some falsely happy scene in which some innocents find the disgusting remains of the body that will serve to open the next murder case. The tough guy detective, Jim, falls in love with a woman who appears to be a single mom but whose husband is actually in jail. The want-but-can't have relationship tension is oh, so cheesy, but, somehow kept me hooked long enough to finish off the first two seasons in record time and hope the third doesn't take too much longer to post to Netflix.

Do not watch this show. Do not. Do not. Do not The Walking Dead is about the zombie apocalypse. Yes. I have a Master's Degree, a squeamish stomach, a healthy value on human life, and am hooked on a show about brain-eaters. Ridiculous.There is so much nasty carnage in this show that I watch many scenes out the corner of one squinted eye. The constant fight for survival against the "walkers" (zombies) provides much fodder for character development because it brings out the worst in everyone. Many of the characters are unlikeable but still strangely compelling. The writers are not afraid to get rid of main characters to further the chaotic and tragic plot twists. Bottom line. This show is about alive people trying to stay alive by killing people who are already dead. Despite the last two semi-redeeming sentences, do not waste your time or brain cells (get it?) on this show...I'll do it for you.