Brent and Rita's Blog: What I was thinking at mile 7.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

What I was thinking at mile 7.

Yesterday I ran a half marathon. (That's 13.1 miles for those of you lucky enough not to be stuck in mental and physical vortex that is a running hobby.) Near mile 7, Chasing Pavements by Adele began to play on my MP3 player. Over and over I heard Adele ask herself, "Should I give up? Or should I just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere..." Fatigue, a headwind and roads full of frozen slush definitely begged the same question but the lyrics about unrequited affection also mirrored the latest analysis of my love-hate relationship with running. As Adele admitted to pouring emotional energy into something that is not panning out, I wondered the same thing. Why on earth do I run?

I really do love to run. It gives me some personal time and helps me feel strong and confident. Lately, however, my heart (and other body parts) haven't been into it. When my running partner moved in December and then was stricken with a stress fracture, I realized how dependent on someone else I have become even to reach my own goals. In an attempt to ward off an impending birthday crisis, last year I determined to run 4 Utah marathons in 2010. Evidently, setting the goal didn't work and neither did forking out all the money for race registrations. Self-sabotage has taken over and I have let a serious lapse in training add to my spiraling self-concept. What is wrong with me?!

Anyway, to answer Adele's and my own question, yes, I am going to keep chasing pavements even though it doesn't seem to be leading anywhere. I am trying to recommit to my original goal to train well and enjoy this year of running. Bring on the marathons...
May-Ogden
June-Utah Valley
August-Park City
October-St. George.

6 comments:

Amy and Brad said...: Way to go, Rita! You are amazing!; April 5, 2010 at 11:22 AM
The Bullknitter said...: Personally, I think that song is too slow for a running song, but that's beside the point. I think anyone who can run even a half marathon is amazing. I can barely run a mile. So, you go girl!; April 5, 2010 at 4:21 PM
Colett's Corner said...: Rita you are such an inspiration to so many people. Please don't get all of your goals achieved and everything figured out....I think when that happens we leave this life and so many of us need you here. You are wonderful!!!; April 6, 2010 at 10:13 AM
Deanna Quinton Larson said...: Seriously, Rita, you are an amazing woman! I can't imagine running like you do. Only in my dreams. Hang in there 'cause you can definitely reach your goal.; April 7, 2010 at 10:31 PM
Katie said...: Today I ran 11.5 miles in prep for SLC half next week and I thought of you around mile "owe, this hurts". I don't know how you keep doing this. This is my first and my last, I hope. I have a hate-hate relationship with running and I envy people like you! Just know that you inspire my aching knees to keep going!; April 10, 2010 at 4:28 PM
Jana said...: Deets, you truly are amazing! You are inspiring! Don't doubt yourself because we all believe in you! Hang in there! And don't worry so much about 40, it really is just a number. Love ya.; April 12, 2010 at 9:05 AM

Crazy Kid Quotes!

8/2010
After we had visited pregnant Andrea, Alec asked, "Don't you wonder if your dad ever has a baby in his tummy because it is so big...cepts boys don't have babies in their stomachs."
8/2010
While rubbing my legs, Alec told me, "I don't see your spikes but I can feel them."
7/2009
Alec calls Hershey's bars *chocolate words* because they have 'Hershey' imprinted on the chocolate. Love it.
6/2009
I asked Alec to retrieve the phone for me. He quickly obeyed and started over to me but hid the phone behind his back. "Oh. I'm so sorry, Mom. I couldn't find it," he smirked.
4/23/2009
Alec asked me if he could have an orange for lunch and then said, "And I want you to take the paper off of it for me."
4/2009
Alec wanted help with a computer game. Brent asked where the CD was. "It's already in the computer, sick-o," was Alec's reply.
4/2009
I found Alec doing his best to unwrap every piece of chocolate in the house on the couch of the front room. Before I could say anything, he looked caught and asked, "Mom, am I being a naughty-potty?"
10/30/2008
Todd asked me to look inside his mouth at a canker that was beginning to form. I empathized with a sigh and shook my head. Alec asked to see it and upon sight said, "Yep. There's a kangaroo inside there."
10/17/2008
I have a habit of asking, "Do you understand?" after I correct Alec for being naughty. Today I told him not to throw his stuffed animal at the ceiling fan but DID NOT add my tagline. He remorsefully approached me, "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm so sorry...and, I understand."
10/13/2008
Today Alec cut his finger and asked me to put a battery on it.
3/2008
We were eating lunch together. Alec looked around at all of us and exclaimed, "Family ever!" (I took this to mean BEST family ever since we often say, "Best kids ever.")
10/6/2008
In the car today I said to Alec, "Whew. I smell a stinky skunk."
Alec:"Me?"
Me: "No, Honey. A real skunk. It's so stinky."
Alec: "Yeah, they're uh-skusting."
10/5/08
Last night we were leaving the pool in St. George. Alec stopped, looked up into a palm tree and said, "Dang it! No monkeys."
9/21/2008
When Jesus was first mentioned in the Primary program today, Alec yelled out, "Hey. They sayed it about my brother!"
2002
Kenna used the "word" nah-dutz to communicate anything and everything when she was two. Her intonation and speech pattern were right on but nah-dutz was the only thing comin' out. She could tell entire stories using this simple utterance varied only in speed, expression, and voice tone. When she finally did learn to speak, she made a cute mistakes. These are some I remember:
scub cowts=cub scouts
patterkiller=caterpillar
nomefumber=phone number
1999
One day when Todd was 3 and was learning his letter sounds, he asked me what the word *ODD* meant. I told him it meant strange, different, or weird. This disturbed him, "So, my name is T-weird?!"
9/2008
Today Alec was at my friend Melinda's house. He asked if he could give the dog a treat and was allowed to do so. He wanted to give more but Melinda told him that too many treats would upset the dog's stomach and she would throw up. Later Alec said that he couldn't be friends with Melinda's daughter explaining, "I already have five friends and if I have six friends, that will be too many and then I will throw up."

I love Gordon B. Hinkley's admonition of how to 'BE'.
Be grateful...
11/10/2008-This morning both of my running partners didn't make it. I went anyway. I am thankful for my legs, for my body, for my mind, for my neighborhood park, and even for the rain that was falling. It was a beautiful run.
11/06/2008-I went to dinner with two friends tonight and one of them even picked up the tab. How thankful I am for people that I love and love me.
Be smart...
11/11/2008-Reference Brent's post about our freshly automated home. He is brilliant and I feel smarter from having been his conversation partner for the last 15+ years. I love you, Honey.
11/06/2008-Brent received 4.2% of the vote in 'his race' for the State Representative for our district. If he ever decides to do a serious campaign and actually won, he would be great. I'm proud of him.
10/31/2008-After neighborhood Trick-or-Treating, Brent took the kids around to other families who live further away from us but are on our special list. I am so thankful for all the people who influence our lives and many of them acted like we were making their day for visiting. How sweet.
10/25/2008-I am grateful for the beautiful fall day today. Beautiful colors and weather make me smile.
10/19/2008-Todd passed the sacrament for the first time today. When he was through, one of the High Priests who had helped patted him on the shoulder and winked at him. The phrase, "It takes a village to raise a child," came to mind and I am thankful for others in the 'village' helping me out.
10/12/2008-Today Kenna made a sandwich for Alec. When she gave it to him, he reaction sounded like she'd given him the moon..."For ME? Thank you, Kenna! Mom, Kenna gave me a ham and cheese sandwich!!"
10/12/2008-A sweet 10-year-old girl in testimony meeting today said that she has been learning about different countries in school and feels blessed to live in a rich and clean country.
Be smart...
10/25/2008-Today I returned a whole bunch of scrapbook supplies to Michael's. They've been sitting around forever and now I have a much more compact $56 giftcard in their place!
10/20/2008-Happy birthday to my smart friend, Quincey...Actually, I should say Happy birthday, Dr. Atkin. Look where the small town girl ended up! I'm proud to be your friend.
10/16/2008-Brent came to my computer rescue today when I was trying to edit a cute graphic. He's such a brainiac!
10/10/2008-Grades came out today. Todd and Kenna did great.
Be clean...
10/25/2008-Opposite. Today we had to kick Kenna out of the room while we watched our DVR'ed episode of The Office. Hmmm. If she shouldn't watch it, I shouldn't either. Dangit!
10/16/2008-Did not swear yesterday when I heard some rotten news at work!! On a more literal note, today Kenna and I organized her endless supply of craft items. Whew.
10/12/2008-Yeah, NOT my house today!
Todd was ordained to the office of a deacon today. I am pleased that he makes earnest effort to choose the right and to be a good person.
Be true...
11/09/2008-Our Relief Society lesson detailed some of the letters Joseph Smith sent to his wife, Emma and their children during the frequent times he was away from them. I don't know how she endured so many trials and remained as strong as she did.
11/6/2008-Todd went to the Conference Center tonight to take part in taping the New Year's Eve address for the youth. I am so grateful for the programs of our church. I know where my kid is tonight.
10/31/2008-Todd went with his deacon's quorum this morning to do baptisms for the dead for his first time. He had a very peaceful, nice experience.
10/16/2008-Brent shed a few tears at BYU's loss today. He's COUGAR true.
10/12/2008-Today our Relief Society instructor had each sister stand and introduce herself as a daughter of God. It was beautiful.
Be humble...
11/06/2008-Tonight we visited someone in our neighborhood who has been honored as Family of the Year by Layton City. First, PERFECT choice--they are super great. I love them. Second, it reminded me that my responsibilities as a wife and mother need to be my top priority in time and energy. Good thing I like these guys I live with. :)
10/29/2008-My Uncle Randy, his wife, and his son stayed the night at our house. They have very little of the world's riches but are a happy, grateful family. I love them. They remind me that "stuff" is nothing.
10/16/2008-Todd teared up when he received a birthday present from my parents today. He was touched by their kind words and thoughtful gift.
10/12/2008-My in-laws are being set apart as missionaries tonight and fly out to Peru on Saturday. They turned all over to the Lord throughout the ups and downs of preparing to serve.
Be prayerful...
11/11/2008-Being assigned to a High School this year has opened my eyes to issues that I will deal with as my kids are fast approaching teen years. I pray that I will find the right balance of giving them guidance and independence and feel confident and comforted in my parenting decisions regardless of their choices.
10/25/2008-Our prayers that Brent's parents would arrive safely in Peru were answered. They arrived and are already settled in their apartment. We hope they feel our love and thoughts.
10/16/2008-A young father from my hometown lost his battle with Leukemia today. I don't really even know him but 3 little kids are without their dad tonight. I'm praying for them.
10/12/2008-I have a prayer in my heart for my parents this week. They have had a couple of tough spells. I love them and I hope they feel the peace and comfort of our Heavenly Father this week.